So my new jam is that I have a sewing machine and plan to get real crazy with it.
One of my first tasks is to build a meditation cushion, since the floor isn't quite getting me there.
I had an unexpected medi-talk with someone in my "music sangha." He mentioned how it's annoying that meditation has become main stream, and to a point I agree. I also know enough now to understand that it is a hard thing to fake. Sure, you can pretend to be more calm or enlightened-but that won't mean you actually feel better, so what's the point in that? I don't enjoy thinking about this in the sense of being contrarian, but I do like thinking about faking meditation. If you sit still just to go through the motions, won't it count just the same? Would faking it be more like telling people you do it when you don't?
Would it be like those times I'm trying to get through a meditation streak in order to pass 1 month of headspace to a friend and I let the guided talk play through my headset while I mill about the house....? True confession. Now I'm thinking 'why I would want to pass it along if that is what I am doing?' but I honestly feel overall it's been a great set of training wheels. Some of the specialized packs just are not my cup of tea.
Would faking it be those times I'd rather just take a walk outside? Once you begin to train the mind you can bring awareness into any moment. These days, I've been writing papers ad nauseum and slipping deep into my own head. Sometimes I have to ask myself, "Can you feel the weather right now?" "Are you actually looking at your boyfriend?" "What does this coffee taste like?"
Somewhere I read that meditation is the only time you will be awake if you are not careful. If you live in your thoughts all day, how different is that from dreaming other than you have slightly more influence over the plot line?
Non-sequitur: This same pal told me something neat about his girlfriend which answered an important question in my life. I've asked myself what is the best thing to do for a homeless person in need?
Her answer: have pre-made care packages in your car to hand out. (water+snacks)
