Teach-nology

Listened to Thich Nhat Hanh speak on Krista Tippett's podcast, On Being. I paraphrase the most personally relevant quote here: "You have permission to make mistakes, you do not have permission to continue to make mistakes, you must learn."

I ordered his book: Anger, Wisdom for Cooling the Flames. I am interested in this text for a few reasons. One is that I am happy in my current life, which means it is a safe time to look at how I can fortify myself for difficulty.

I'm currently reading Descarte's Error by Antonio Damasio, wherein he discusses the role of emotions on decision making. I plan to connect these two readings, one from the world of philosophy and the other from neuroscience (and philosophy) to help myself be a better teacher. In another podcast, Two Guys on Your Head, they discuss how negative emotions spur us to make adjustments to our lives. If we were always happy, there would not be reasons to change.

Meditation Apps

Loving Kindnesses

Today I attended a group meditation.  The first half hour was a guided session. The instructor mentioned a sangha, and how this word also means vessel. He said that we could settle into the collective and know that our problems may be similar to those with someone else in the group.

In the final 5 minutes of the meditation session we were instructed to picture loved one "in loving kindness," which is essentially just thinking of them and sending good vibes. Next we held someone difficult in our life in loving kindness, then ourselves. I was reminded of an Orff conference I attended a few years ago, where a teacher shared that she browses her roll call at the end of each day in search of students to "send loving kindness" to, especially those who were quiet/easy to neglect and the more needy. I loved hearing this moment (I was eavesdropping at the time) because she did not try to problem solve, she just said, "Lord, show me how to be a better teacher for _______." Perhaps you may think that's lazy-to avoid solving it just then, but I think the spirit of this activity is that you purposefully set it on the back-burner and prime yourself to meet that person with greater compassion.

After our loving kindnesses, we each shared how long we'd been meditating and what made us start. Of course, you had the option to pass. I said I'd practiced about 1 year, and my intention is to stay buoyant in times of strife and grateful under all conditions. I also wish to be a better listener and more empathetic to others.

Getting Polished

Summer is coming to a close, I've traveled to my home state to enjoy family/friend time and now back and settling into a new school year.

I have to remind myself what a mess I was this time last year. I'm thankful not to be dealing with the same range and amplitude of insecurities. I do admit, that despite an enjoyable summer, they seem to have returned with different flavors. I'm daunted by ambiguities and feeling like I won't perform up to personal standards in the upcoming terms. Afraid I won't "get what I need/get what I came for" in regards to my studies/goals. Perhaps it's simply loss of momentum. It happens to everyone.

Family and friends are great sources of support but I realize ultimately, a lot of the solutions have to come from yourself. But you know, this video is also helpful (if you are impatient go to 5:27)

I've been experimenting with:

ACTCoach App-to track any intense negative emotional peaks and the ways I've dealt with them. I've been trying this for about 5 months.

Whole 30- Committing to a spell without legumes and chocolate.

Also, a friend sent me a few books, one of which is: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. The book jacket may deter you from reading it in public, for fear that others will pity you in your attempt to scrape yourself together. Skip the fatal foreword and go to the content beginning in chapter 1, where the focus orients towards mindfulness.

Yoga-I'm getting back into it, but this time with guidance. You know, just trying to fulfill the cliche.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." Theodore Roosevelt

"Everything is hard before it is easy" Goethe

"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?" Rumi

Minding the Gap

“The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between.”

Sometimes this is attributed to Mozart, but who knows?

Today I'm addressing some anxiety as I draw a parallel between this axiom and the idea that meditation is the space between two thoughts, and I aim to widen that gap.

What is

I recently had a discussion within the world of Education to parse out the difference between evaluation and assessments. We concluded that evaluations include judgements/rubrics/cross-comparisons and were more formal in nature. In an assessment you see "what is" and take it from there, they can be frequent and low-key. Both provide great information.

This crosses over to something I'm working on (<---case and point) in meditation. Okay re-phrase, this is something I would like to transfer into my practice. I've been hoping to set a better intention for myself, mantra, or whatever that I can come back to for a couple of weeks. What I've realized is I've been searching for a goal rather than intention (thank you, internet).  Just like an assessment, an intention does not have a required result. Goals, like evaluations, may imply that something needs fixing, or there is something I should be or do.

So maybe what I will spend time asking myself is:

Do I have what I need?

My first instinct, funny enough is to say "no!" but perhaps if I look deeper I might see that some of these things are petty in the long term. It's a similar panic to what I experienced yesterday in Hancock's fabrics. I drove up and saw enormous yellow and red signs reading "Going out of business!" Not just this one, but all of them! So then I was trying to align my "needs" on the pre-scribbled list in my hand with my "future needs" plus the reality of my bank account.

Wants, needs, expectations...rinse, repeat!

Happiness in 60 Seconds

Nones and Nuns

I recently passed my 1 year anniversary of meditation. For the sake of curiosity, I have stats from my app, not that they really matter.

Average Duration-15 minutes
Number of sessions-229
Total time Meditating-55 hours

That means I practiced 62% of the year, over half! This is pretty neat, I am proud I committed to something new.

A switch in lifestyle afforded me time to get to know myself better as well. I am more aware of when I am upset (for better or worse). This makes it more possible for me to confront my feelings instead of sweeping things under the rug. I am also more aware of when I am happy and healthy and take extra measures to appreciate those moments.

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is." -Kurt Vonnegut

On Being with Krista Tippett recently featured Nathan Schneider re: The Wisdom of Millennials. This podcast introduced me to the "Nones" (I hope this is an amazing and intentional "Nun" pun). It's a reference to the generation(s) of people who identify as spiritual or religious but are not affiliated with anything in particular.

I like learning about how other people cultivate inner strength and make a community.

This year I made my own meditation pillow-success in many realms! I often wonder if prayer and meditation serve the same purpose for people. I wonder if it is a matter of what priorities or intentions people set-similar to the difference between music educators and music therapists-similar practice with different goals.

In both, I think you invite the outside world to come in, to get outside of your mind and work on creating space for all thoughts to pass-whether they are positive/negative/other. I discontinued membership to a meditation app, because I feel ready to study and gather wisdom from other sources around me.

Call to Action

Hello,

Shorter/Hancock