Loving Kindnesses

Today I attended a group meditation.  The first half hour was a guided session. The instructor mentioned a sangha, and how this word also means vessel. He said that we could settle into the collective and know that our problems may be similar to those with someone else in the group.

In the final 5 minutes of the meditation session we were instructed to picture loved one "in loving kindness," which is essentially just thinking of them and sending good vibes. Next we held someone difficult in our life in loving kindness, then ourselves. I was reminded of an Orff conference I attended a few years ago, where a teacher shared that she browses her roll call at the end of each day in search of students to "send loving kindness" to, especially those who were quiet/easy to neglect and the more needy. I loved hearing this moment (I was eavesdropping at the time) because she did not try to problem solve, she just said, "Lord, show me how to be a better teacher for _______." Perhaps you may think that's lazy-to avoid solving it just then, but I think the spirit of this activity is that you purposefully set it on the back-burner and prime yourself to meet that person with greater compassion.

After our loving kindnesses, we each shared how long we'd been meditating and what made us start. Of course, you had the option to pass. I said I'd practiced about 1 year, and my intention is to stay buoyant in times of strife and grateful under all conditions. I also wish to be a better listener and more empathetic to others.

Getting Polished

Summer is coming to a close, I've traveled to my home state to enjoy family/friend time and now back and settling into a new school year.

I have to remind myself what a mess I was this time last year. I'm thankful not to be dealing with the same range and amplitude of insecurities. I do admit, that despite an enjoyable summer, they seem to have returned with different flavors. I'm daunted by ambiguities and feeling like I won't perform up to personal standards in the upcoming terms. Afraid I won't "get what I need/get what I came for" in regards to my studies/goals. Perhaps it's simply loss of momentum. It happens to everyone.

Family and friends are great sources of support but I realize ultimately, a lot of the solutions have to come from yourself. But you know, this video is also helpful (if you are impatient go to 5:27)

I've been experimenting with:

ACTCoach App-to track any intense negative emotional peaks and the ways I've dealt with them. I've been trying this for about 5 months.

Whole 30- Committing to a spell without legumes and chocolate.

Also, a friend sent me a few books, one of which is: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. The book jacket may deter you from reading it in public, for fear that others will pity you in your attempt to scrape yourself together. Skip the fatal foreword and go to the content beginning in chapter 1, where the focus orients towards mindfulness.

Yoga-I'm getting back into it, but this time with guidance. You know, just trying to fulfill the cliche.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." Theodore Roosevelt

"Everything is hard before it is easy" Goethe

"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?" Rumi