Sensibly Sensitized

Today was meditation 30!

Did I do it every day? No...but almost. The app reminded me if I do a 30 day streak I will have a month for free. New goal!

I've been staving off a range of colds and a strain of strep bopping around campus. Monday sure threw down the gauntlet as to what kind of week I am up against and when I felt my energy slump last evening I opted for the 9:15 bedtime.

Slept until 6:37 and snuck in session #30. There's emphasis on "being present with what you are doing." Happily for me-this is an effortless task when I'm working. It's gratifying to know I'm so swept up in teaching that I can't think about anything else when its happening. I realized this is the same for me during good rehearsals-of which I recently had the pleasure of experiencing on Sunday. Is teaching and performing a meditation by extension? You are so concentrated in the present that past and future are nearly meaningless.

It's when I'm not working or speaking or playing when I have difficulty being present. Especially meditation.

Many times I have to open my eyes to shut off my thinker. I'm trying to dig myself out of my head and watch what's actually happening around me.

Bolstered by extra sleep and an imaginary gold star, I expected today to be steady. I'm not sure whether it was me, but I felt everyone and thing was especially out to get me. I powered through about an hour and a half of instruction, but felt I was going to completely blow up and ruin some peoples day.

Headspace has an "SOS" meditation and I recognized now was time to pull the trigger. It's a three-minute talk-down. Andy is a little more forceful with you, "STEP OFF THE LEDGE. THERE IS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR." Those are not his words...perhaps just his intention.

It did help me squirt a few toxic tears out and realize I'd been tensing every muscle from nose to knee. With the personal reminder that I am merely assembling two children's shows, I was able to build a bridge and get over myself. I also worked really hard to remember I had a choice on how I reacted to everything. I grabbed a sliver of dark chocolate, ate it slow enough to let it melt. AND remembered I had some chicken cups to introduce to second grade!

This changed my day

I had about 5 chicken cups for the students to share...it was great. Of course they served a greater musical purpose!

From there my day was not good but great. I read more of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations at lunch and you can expect to see a spew of collected thoughts on that soon.

I'm now off to rehearse for an upcoming recital...next on the meditation agenda is the "Focus" series-I know that meditation should already apply to your everyday life, and I'm certainly making the effort to. I'm hoping this focus session will be especially applicable to recital preparation.